Attack of the Nosey Neighbor

Hi All:

Okay so maybe some of you have one of these and perhaps others are fortunate enough to not have one. I am one of the not so fortunate in this regard. I have the nosiest neighbor on the face of the earth. Now don't get me wrong. When my roses were ill and I did not know it. She was the first one to spot it and let me know exactly what to do. Not only that, but she is very good at keeping me abreast of all the things one needs to know about our neighborhood.

However today, today she crossed the line! Picture this, nice Wednesday afternoon, a break from the 90 degree weather we have been experiencing and I decide to take my phone conversation on a nice stroll to the mailbox. Yes, yapping and checking the mail is an art form. So as I am approaching the mailbox I see her coming. I think to myself, "awww shoot" but proceed with my walk. She turns the corner just as I approach, yet I'm thinking "she sees me on the phone, no way she will stop." Ha, silly me. She stops, rolls down the window and has what i like to call the "southern BS conversation" . Hi, how are you, blah blah blah. Mind you, I am on the phone. She then pauses and looks away as if to say, she is done. Then it happens. She opens her mouth and says, "Well you know 'MamaLuv' I'm almost afraid to ask, but are you, uhh pregnant?" Oh me being the sarcastic Northerner wanted to say, "What pregnant! Me No of course not!" just to see the embarrassment on her face. However she is the President of our Home Owners Association and one is always cautious when crossing them. So I politely smiled and answered her in the affirmative. Dare I forget to mention my so-called friend laughing hysterically in my ear.

Now see the part of the conversation that got me was the, "I'm almost afraid to ask" Translation: "Dang you are blowing up and I hope its because you are pregnant!" As if I were not smart enough to read between the lines. Moral of the story: Leave it to older southern women to know how to make even poop smell like roses. So from this day forward she will always be known as the nosey neighbor, because all she had to do was keep driving and wave like we always do. If I had a bubble of denial reagrding my shape that I had hoped to cling to. Her question certainly popped that sucka:)!

*Nosey neighbor is actually a kind person, I just thought the story was to funny to keep to myself. Perhaps next time I see her I will let her know that I am almost 12 weeks and due in April. Have a great night and if you have a similar story, please share.